I’m going to tell you a little story. For no particular reason, except that I was pondering how funny my brother is, and always has been (and how I didn’t think he was all that funny back in the day, but I was wrong).
So once upon a middle-school time, I lurved a boy. He lived in a different state, but we ran in some similar religious circles, so I could plan on seeing him once or twice a month. I may have been a bit of a stalker. He was blond and tall and in perpetual need of a haircut. His parents owned and operated a lovely bakery, where the workers wore pins on their aprons that said “Check out our buns.” I don’t know if that part is verifiably accurate, but it’s been reported enough times to be historically true to me.
During this same time, I had a little Bon Jovi fixation. Big poster. On the wall. With the larger-than-life face, the torn purple jacket, the peroxide-highlighted Hair-Band locks. (Jon, not me.)
Don’t judge.
(My poor Mom.)
So one fine day, in order to entertain himself, my brother rewrote all the songs on Bon Jovi’s smash-hit album “Slippery When Wet” (Oh, my goodness – I know. Please don’t judge.) to reflect my crush on Bakery Boy.
Here’s what I remember.
“You Give Bakeries A Bad Name.” ~ “Let it Cook, Let it Cool.” ~ “Livin’ on an Eclair.” ~ “Bread is a Social Disease.” ~ “Wanted, Frosted or Not.” ~ “Wash Your Hands.” ~ “Never Say Dessert.” ~ “I’d Bake for You.”
(If you are one of those character-laden people who doesn’t get any of that, look it up on iTunes. It’s pretty good, what he could do.)
Another time, years later, this same brother phoned me from college on September 15th. Awww. How cute. He missed me already. He played a song over the phone. Want to guess which one? Okay, then. I’ll tell you. The Smiths’ “Unhappy Birthday.” Need lyrics? Here you go. “I called to wish you an unhappy birthday, because you’re evil, and you lie. And if you should die, I may feel slightly sad, but I won’t cry.” (Which is actually a great song on an album of equally great songs, including the classic “Girlfriend in a Coma.”)
He continues to be un-fair-ly funny. He got all the comedy genes AND all the thick-hair genes. Plus, he’s 6’2″. Also his wife, who is brilliant and fabulous, completely buries me in the comedy department.
I just thought I’d share.
(16) Comments for this blog
I’m rather flummoxed by this surprising piece of information. It shocks me that YOU aren’t the funny one in your family. He must be quite the comedian if he trumps you, in my opinion.
I’m giggling over ”I’d Bake For You.”
And I ADORE The Smiths, most especially Girlfriend in a Coma, which I still have on a mixed tape my British Pen Pal and First Love sent me lo these many years ago. Ah, I’m feeling all nostalgic now.
I’m rather flummoxed by this surprising piece of information. It shocks me that YOU aren’t the funny one in your family. He must be quite the comedian if he trumps you, in my opinion.
I’m giggling over ”I’d Bake For You.”
And I ADORE The Smiths, most especially Girlfriend in a Coma, which I still have on a mixed tape my British Pen Pal and First Love sent me lo these many years ago. Ah, I’m feeling all nostalgic now.
AW! You have an awesome brother! Mine used to drag me around the house by my pigtails. I still think I need therapy for that. *snicker*
AW! You have an awesome brother! Mine used to drag me around the house by my pigtails. I still think I need therapy for that. *snicker*
Your brother must of been a hoot to grow up with. (Hugs)Indigo
Your brother must of been a hoot to grow up with. (Hugs)Indigo
That album was ~awesome~! Uh, “Strangeways…” not “Slippery…” (though Slippery was pretty good as far as hair bands go.) Oddly, I have most of JBJ’s stuff currently and remarkably little from our good friend Morrissey and company. Did you know you can’t get the Smith’s on iTunes? I know, bollocks! Well there is some weird tribute stuff, but it just isn’t the same.
…death of a disco dancer was the best song on the album. last night I dreamt…, paint a vulgar picture, stop me if you think that you’ve hear this one before. ahhhhh, memories!
Remember when older sis#1 was totally surprised to hear we were going to University Mall to see the Smiths? She didn’t know they’d adopted the Tiffany mall-tour strategy and was really shocked to hear they’d picked Provo. Actually we were going K, M,& B. Better looking, better vibes. Not as musically gifted, perhaps,
I wish your brother were still as funny as he once was. Thanks for the run down memory lane.
PS Jon Bob Jovi and Jane Fonda have had basically identical haircuts since about 1983. Google images… check it out.
That album was ~awesome~! Uh, “Strangeways…” not “Slippery…” (though Slippery was pretty good as far as hair bands go.) Oddly, I have most of JBJ’s stuff currently and remarkably little from our good friend Morrissey and company. Did you know you can’t get the Smith’s on iTunes? I know, bollocks! Well there is some weird tribute stuff, but it just isn’t the same.
…death of a disco dancer was the best song on the album. last night I dreamt…, paint a vulgar picture, stop me if you think that you’ve hear this one before. ahhhhh, memories!
Remember when older sis#1 was totally surprised to hear we were going to University Mall to see the Smiths? She didn’t know they’d adopted the Tiffany mall-tour strategy and was really shocked to hear they’d picked Provo. Actually we were going K, M,& B. Better looking, better vibes. Not as musically gifted, perhaps,
I wish your brother were still as funny as he once was. Thanks for the run down memory lane.
PS Jon Bob Jovi and Jane Fonda have had basically identical haircuts since about 1983. Google images… check it out.
Oh,I love it! Brothers are the best. I would know because all I have is brothers.
Oh,I love it! Brothers are the best. I would know because all I have is brothers.
Your brother rocks! My little brother has a sense of humor like that. He once made a woman in stand-still traffic laugh her head off by rolling down the window and singing all out to her, “I want to know what love is! I need you to shoooow meee!”
Ah…good times. =D
Your brother rocks! My little brother has a sense of humor like that. He once made a woman in stand-still traffic laugh her head off by rolling down the window and singing all out to her, “I want to know what love is! I need you to shoooow meee!”
Ah…good times. =D
Marc is constantly singing made up lyrics to songs…that he probably learned from Big Bro….Funny.
Marc is constantly singing made up lyrics to songs…that he probably learned from Big Bro….Funny.
I read this with a smile on my face the whole way through.
I tried to send you an e-mail the other day, praising your many talents. But it bounced somehow. I also wanted to tell you I handsold one of your books at TKE the other night. With pleasure.
I read this with a smile on my face the whole way through.
I tried to send you an e-mail the other day, praising your many talents. But it bounced somehow. I also wanted to tell you I handsold one of your books at TKE the other night. With pleasure.