Popular

Days like this I’m almost overwhelmed by how many people love me.

Today, it’s the vacation rental adverts.

They’re all over my blog comments. Husband said to me the other day, “Wow. Your blog is getting really popular.” I sort of looked at him with that “duh, huh?” questioning look on my face, and he said, “You have fifty comments waiting for approval.”

Oh.

That.

Yeah, well, I only have to translate their comments into rudimentary English before I can understand what the commenter meant,  for real. Like so:

“Unsecured finance such, media or sales?Are impermanent in, there This has.People are buying, reviews These will.The God-Spark within Long Lets in Javea  Long term rentals in Javea  Villas for Rent in Javea  Letting Agents in Javea, fluctuations Then understand So even if.Vendor is my, if they breach.,”

Okay, so if I change every mis-applied capital letter to the words “awesome books” (which is clearly what the commenter had in mind) we get this:

Unsecured finance such, media or sales?Are impermanent in, there awesome books has.People are buying, reviews awesome books will.The God-Spark within Long Lets in Javea  Long term rentals in awesome books in Javea  awesome books in Javea, fluctuations awesome books understand awesome books even if.Vendor is my, if they breach.,

Then, if we change “Javea” to “Becca” (which, obviously…)

Unsecured finance such, media or sales?Are impermanent in, there awesome books has.People are buying, reviews awesome books will.The God-Spark within Long Lets in Becca  Long term rentals in awesome books in Becca  awesome books in Becca, fluctuations awesome books understand awesome books even if.Vendor is my, if they breach.,

Misused punctuation switches out to a totally realistic compliment, such as:

Unsecured finance such, media or just found your website, and I am thrilled to be here. impermanent in, there awesome books has. People are buying, reviews awesome books will.The God-Spark within Long Lets in Becca When I discovered your books, I found a place that I could escape – to laugh, cry, explore, and love. Long term rentals in awesome books in Becca  awesome books in Becca, fluctuations awesome books understand awesome books even if.Vendor is my, if they breach and I will be visiting your site often, and buy your books as gifts for all my friends.

Then we take out all the totally worthless stupid parts, and voila! We have a comment to be proud of:

While I was waiting for my online donation to a worthy charity organization to go through, I just found your website, and I am thrilled to be here. I am so glad I can find a way to tell you how much I adore your awesome books. People are buying them, and leaving reviews all over the web – they’re offering reasons for conversation, as awesome books will.The God-Spark within your stories speaks to my soul, Becca. When I discovered your books, I found a place that I could escape – to laugh, cry, explore, and love. Diving in to awesome books in your style, Becca, is my greatest joy. I love to tell my friends about  awesome books in Becca’s voice, awesome books we can relate to, understand even if our usual favorites contain undead boyfriends. Yours are awesome books even if we only like kleptomaniac zombie mermaids of the apocalypse.This is my point, if you keep writing such delightful words and sentences, I will be visiting your site often, and buy your books as gifts for all my friends.

See how easy it is to fool myself?

I know what they MEANT to say.

Obviously.