So I take a bit of pride in the fact that most of my fears are rational ones. You know, going bald, death by skiing, creaking doors in dark basements. But I have discovered a new fear.
I’m afraid of spiderwebs.
Specifically, these:
Do you know these spiderwebs? Funnel Webs. They are made by Grass spiders. Pretty harmless, unless you happen to come across one in Australia. (Yes, I have been researching. You don’t think I actually took these photos, do you? Thank you, Google.)
Note: I am not afraid of spiders. I have no problem with bugs in general. If a spider is inside my house, I feel free to either remove it or squish it, depending on my mood. I can handle spiders of all sizes up to about the size of my big fat thumb. Above that, I might scream like a girl and start hurling shoes. Mice? Well, those are a different story. Please don’t ask me to kill or dispose of any animal that nurses its young. But I digress. Back to the spiderwebs.
For some reason, these funnel webs give me the wicked shivers. My fingers tingle. I want to hide. From the spiderwebs. Have I been clear? I’m not afraid of the spiders that build these things. Just of the webs. They fill my blood with pinpricks and induce full-body twitching. And what I’m discovering about myself is that I can have an irrational fear of SOMETHING THAT CANNOT POSSIBLY HURT ME. It’s a spiderweb. I’m not going to fall down it and wind up on some freakish alien world. But somehow, there is a piece of me that worries that I might. That funnel shape is sinister, I tell you. Sinister.
If these webs were like Charlotte’s web, what would they be telling me?
“Beware.”
“Something Wicked This Way Comes.”
“Come and See.”
“Will you step into my parlor?” (said the spider to the fly…)*
Did I mention that I saw about a zillion of these babies this morning on my walk? I think I burned more calories from anxiety than from aerobic respiration.
* Would I love the Tony DiTerlizzi picture book version of “The Spider and the Fly” if there was a funnel web anywhere in the pictures? I think not. But there isn’t. So I do. (Borrowed this image from Amazon, can you tell? But I have the book. And it’s delicious.)
(14) Comments for this blog
HAHAHAHA! You’re scared of a spider web? I’m scared of mice. I won’t deny it. And frogs. I loved them as a girl, but if one jumps on me or near me now I scream like a freaked out two year old.
HAHAHAHA! You’re scared of a spider web? I’m scared of mice. I won’t deny it. And frogs. I loved them as a girl, but if one jumps on me or near me now I scream like a freaked out two year old.
I’m TERRIFIED of spiders…like actually clinical arachnaphobia…and those pictures give me the willies…I may not be able to read your blog for a few days…. 😉
I’m TERRIFIED of spiders…like actually clinical arachnaphobia…and those pictures give me the willies…I may not be able to read your blog for a few days…. 😉
I have to admit, the pictures of those webs kind of freak me out a bit…
I have to admit, the pictures of those webs kind of freak me out a bit…
Spiders give me the willies…well big ones at least. Also I love The Spider and the Fly as does my 3 year old. Amazing how an all black and white book can capture the imagination.
Spiders give me the willies…well big ones at least. Also I love The Spider and the Fly as does my 3 year old. Amazing how an all black and white book can capture the imagination.
Ohhh, that creeps me out! We had one in our back yard. I stopped weeding the flower bed there until it disappeared.
My kids love the spider and the fly. It’s a great book. =)
Ohhh, that creeps me out! We had one in our back yard. I stopped weeding the flower bed there until it disappeared.
My kids love the spider and the fly. It’s a great book. =)
Sorry, I couldn’t read the rest… I am completely paralyzed by spiders. Yuck. I am impressed that you can go up to thumb size before you freak.
Sorry, I couldn’t read the rest… I am completely paralyzed by spiders. Yuck. I am impressed that you can go up to thumb size before you freak.
Becca, I love it. And you. And I think “The Charlotte Situation” would be a great title for a book.
Becca, I love it. And you. And I think “The Charlotte Situation” would be a great title for a book.