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A Heartful

March 1, 2010 by becca

You know when something horrible happens to someone you love, and you’ve maybe worried that something like this might happen? You thought, maybe this is on the cards? You hoped and wondered and prayed about her being strong and courageous and true?

And then it happens, and even if (when) you’re the last one to know about it, it still breaks your heart?

Because it still breaks your heart. The heart that was not involved in this private, crushing, damaging, life-changing horror is still broken. The heart that is on the outside of the mess, the heart that deals with its own issues and traumas and dramas, that heart still feels it. Still feels pricked, pierced, punctured. And the air leaks out, and the shoulders slump and the tears come and there is nothing, nothing to do. So you bake something, and you buy flowers, you leave some phone messages. You ache to Do. You yearn to Serve. You want, want, want to Be There.

And if nothing else, you grow a little from the prick and the pierce and the puncture. You stretch. You empathise. You strengthen.

Result? Your heart is ready to feel it all over again the next time. Because to some great extent, that readiness is what it means to Love.

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(8) Comments for this blog

  1. March 1, 2010

    Sounds sad, Becca. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.

  2. March 1, 2010

    Sounds sad, Becca. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.

  3. March 1, 2010

    So much truth here. The word bittersweet comes to mind.

  4. March 1, 2010

    So much truth here. The word bittersweet comes to mind.

  5. March 2, 2010

    Oh, Becca. What a heart you have. God bless you. My heart and prayers are with you and your loved one who is hurting.

  6. March 2, 2010

    Oh, Becca. What a heart you have. God bless you. My heart and prayers are with you and your loved one who is hurting.

  7. renee
    March 3, 2010

    I’m pretty sure our hearts are breaking for the same person. Wow, I love the way you are actually able to capture the feeling so well and deeply in writing. I wish I were better at somehow expressing the feeling. You are so wonderful Becca. I’ll get back to baking-cause that’s about all I know how to do-the words don’t come for me.

  8. renee
    March 3, 2010

    I’m pretty sure our hearts are breaking for the same person. Wow, I love the way you are actually able to capture the feeling so well and deeply in writing. I wish I were better at somehow expressing the feeling. You are so wonderful Becca. I’ll get back to baking-cause that’s about all I know how to do-the words don’t come for me.

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