You know that principle that says we need to hear like nine positive messages to outweigh a single negative message? My number might be higher.
I’m required to send out a “Stakeholder Survey” to the parents of my students. We were all given a template (that has some not particularly helpful or useful questions on it) and told to edit it or spruce it up to our hearts’ content.
That’s code for “we don’t really care about the feedback; we are simply adhering to a government mandate,” if you know what I mean.
So I edited. I asked, “As a parent, what’s your impression of the work required for this class?” with answers like “too much, too little, too hard, too easy, just about right” to choose from.
I asked, “Does your child feel known, respected, and liked in my classroom?”
I asked, “Does your child feel like we learn useful/important skills in this class?” with a slider for how useful/important our English skills are.
You know. Useful questions. Kind of. Most parents will take 2 minutes to answer the questions. And there’s a space to say “anything else” about their kids’ experience with me.
It’s the space that’s scariest.
And it’s in the space that the kindest things are said. About half the parents who answer the survey write something in that space. It’s not the ones who think my class is too easy for their kid. It’s not the ones who think I offer too little work. It’s the ones who have had several kids from their families in my classroom through the years. It’s the ones whose kids feel loved and honored and connected. Sometimes they name their kid, so I can know where the kind anonymous comments originate. Sometimes they direct the comments to me, sometimes they’re about me in 3rd person. But no matter the beauty and kindness of the vast majority of the messages, I still fear the possibility that angry parents will say the angry words. Will click the “meh” boxes. Will shrug and decide that they can’t be bothered.
I want to be the kind of respondent who says the things that make someone’s day. To help balance the positive/negative ratio — not balance, really, but carefully cultivate sincere, honest positive praise.