Sympathy

Today in church someone told a story about a devastated woman who had experienced a terrible time (losing her marriage, suffering a ton of loss and heartache, just imagine all the badness) and felt all alone in the world. She prayed for the Lord to let her know He knew her.

When I heard that story, I felt sad. Not just because it was a sad story (because the first part really, really was*), but because even though I have NO RIGHT to feel sad and alone, I often do. I am surrounded by good people who tell me they love me EVERY DAY. My husband and my kids tell me (and show me) their love every day. I have students who tell me (in exact words and inexact ones) every day.

I heard the story and I felt guilty for usurping that poor lonely, forgotten woman’s pain.

And then I tried to get over it. I may be silly and thoughtless and ungrateful to feel sad and alone, but guys, I FEEL IT sometimes. On days, or for weeks, or in moments, I really feel it. And maybe you do too. And so I’m here to say that it’s okay with me if you want to feel sad and alone. And I won’t tell you YOU SHOULDN’T. Because you’re allowed to. You’re welcome to. Because sympathy is Good. And if we feel those awful things, we understand others (who may have more obvious reasons to feel them) when we listen to their stories.

So if you feel sad, if you feel alone, if you feel unloveable (even when you’re loved), you can tell me and I’ll understand. I’ll feel those things with you, and I’ll listen to you say why you feel them, and I won’t tell you you’re wrong.

Because I get it. I really, really do.

___

* In the second part of the story, she saw a sign of God’s love. Literally. She saw a sign that said, “You are Loved.” And that was her answer. And I like her answer.