I’ve heard that some writers who win awards have a block afterward. A time in which it’s hard/impossible for them to write something new, possibly for fear that it won’t measure up.
I’ve heard that some writers who have finished a successful series get freaked out (for my lack of a better term) by an assumed reaction they’ll get from their fans and refuse to write something new and different.
That’s crazy, right? Ridiculous. I would NEVER do that.
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Not that I’ve had the awards or the successful series.
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But there’s this: A less-successful round of submissions, followed by a shrug of my shoulders, a “no sweat” response, and an almost complete inability to write anything longer than a page.
WARNING: HACK PSYCHOLOGY AHEAD
I think this is what’s currently wrong with me. I wrote a good book. By virtue of which, I got a great agent. Who totally did her job, and still, somehow, all the editors involved kind of said, “Meh.” So I need to either revise it into something way better or start over and write another book. Which is always the plan, by the way. Writing another book, that is. The plan.
So I start playing with scenes. And I put down a couple hundred words. AND I ASK MYSELF WHY I THINK IT’S GOOD ENOUGH.
What? Wait. Of course it’s not good enough. It’s the first 300 words of a first draft. Please. Good enough for what? Publication?
Sssssslllllllloooooooowwwwwwww ddddddddoooooooowwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn.
(That was annoying and I promise never to do it again.)
I am going to call my reaction (which I haven’t really explained very well, but hang on, I will…) normal. I’m going to say it’s normal for a person like me to be CONCERNED about the following things:
What if I can’t be clever enough to impress someone editorial?
What if my ideas are never more than fine? Never great, awesome, mind-blowing?
What if what I’ve done is all I will ever do?
What if I can’t come up with a truly compelling concept?
What if I’m not funny anymore?
What if people don’t want funny anyway?
What if this thing I’ve started, this scene, this idea, this sentence… doesn’t lead to anything better?
And I am going to explain that these normal concerns lead to a fairly paralyzing inability to write much of anything at all. Because I worry (sorry, but I do) that I’m wasting my time writing something that will never be something good. Because I tap out a few words and look at them and go, “Meh.” Because I think, This idea, it’s not ___________ enough for an editor. [Fill in that blank: Exciting, Big, Fresh, Steamy, New, Quirky, Concepty.] (Yeah, I know. It’s not a word. But it’s a concept.) And when I look at the writing as a piece of something that really should turn into a book, and I can’t see the magic of the book, I can’t see the use of keeping up the writing.
I need a vacation. Or a massage.
Or a slap to the head.
I know it’s silly/stupid/self-defeating. I’m not saying what’s going on here is RIGHT. I’m just saying it’s going on.
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The first step to getting over it is writing it down.
I haven’t figured out the second step yet.
But I will probably write it down when I do…
(8) Comments for this blog
Eh. I’m verging on block for the first time ever. I don’t enjoy this space. I have no words of advice. I will say: I get it. Sorry you’re here too. Sucks.
Eh. I’m verging on block for the first time ever. I don’t enjoy this space. I have no words of advice. I will say: I get it. Sorry you’re here too. Sucks.
Not that this will help at all, or that you will even take this seriously because you will think that we are biased because we know you or lying (both of which are untrue), but my mom and I are always talking about how clever you are. And how funny.
And I pinned your book. On pinterest. Because I love it. And . . .
We believe in you!
Not that this will help at all, or that you will even take this seriously because you will think that we are biased because we know you or lying (both of which are untrue), but my mom and I are always talking about how clever you are. And how funny.
And I pinned your book. On pinterest. Because I love it. And . . .
We believe in you!
first, i vote massage.
second, i love this post.
third, i am waiting for the second step.
first, i vote massage.
second, i love this post.
third, i am waiting for the second step.
I get this feeling. Get. It. Only, I get it without any of the success bits. But what I can say about this is that I’ve read you. Multiple you. And you? Are amazing.
I get this feeling. Get. It. Only, I get it without any of the success bits. But what I can say about this is that I’ve read you. Multiple you. And you? Are amazing.