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Schmutz

January 5, 2013 by becca

You know when your laundry goes in with a tissue in a pocket and everything comes out with a scrim of fuzz in every crease and fold? Or when you shovel your snow carefully to the sides of your driveway and it looks so pretty until it finally warms up, and then there’s the graying, icy, pocked snow all along the edges of your little world? Or when your little cut on your finger finally stops hurting and you take off the bandaid and find that black sticky residue along the edges of where it stuck?

Schmutz. All.

Some days I feel like I have emotional schmutz all over me. The leftovers of my mistakes, my everyday actions, my attempts to make things better. And I feel like it’s all I see. All anyone sees — the remnants of the yucky parts.

(That’s not really the case, is it?)

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(8) Comments for this blog

  1. Jayne
    January 5, 2013

    It’s not what I see.
    I think we tend to shed the schmutz and emerge fresh and sparkling! I’m not saying it doesn’t gather occasionally. I know it does on me. But it’s clearable. And then the sparkly us remains:)
    I personally find you quite sparkly.

  2. Jayne
    January 5, 2013

    It’s not what I see.
    I think we tend to shed the schmutz and emerge fresh and sparkling! I’m not saying it doesn’t gather occasionally. I know it does on me. But it’s clearable. And then the sparkly us remains:)
    I personally find you quite sparkly.

  3. January 7, 2013

    Yay, we all feel that way from time to time. But without the schmutz, we couldn’t see the awesome (which you are btw). 😉

  4. January 7, 2013

    Yay, we all feel that way from time to time. But without the schmutz, we couldn’t see the awesome (which you are btw). 😉

  5. L.T. Elliot
    January 7, 2013

    I’ve never–ever–seen that in you. Ever. You are clean snow. Whole skin. Lintless. Does that mean you’re perfect? No. But I have only ever witnessed kindness in you and a depth of feeling and compassion that not only humbles me, but fills me with gratitude. Especially during the times I feel this same way.

  6. L.T. Elliot
    January 7, 2013

    I’ve never–ever–seen that in you. Ever. You are clean snow. Whole skin. Lintless. Does that mean you’re perfect? No. But I have only ever witnessed kindness in you and a depth of feeling and compassion that not only humbles me, but fills me with gratitude. Especially during the times I feel this same way.

  7. Amber Lynae
    January 8, 2013

    No, I don’t see your schmutz. But I do feel that is all of me that is left sometimes. I can relate.

  8. Amber Lynae
    January 8, 2013

    No, I don’t see your schmutz. But I do feel that is all of me that is left sometimes. I can relate.

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