I paused at the window, looking out at the moon sinking behind the mountains to the west. Normal people weren’t awake at this hour. Just me and this tiny, not-growing-fast-enough baby. I held her in that perfect new-baby place, head tucked under my nose so I could smell her magnetic baby perfume, her tiny body curled only inches below.
I whispered comfort into her sweet-smelling head and rubbed circles in her round back, walking, walking the six steps from wall to window, window to wall. Her breathing settled into new-baby sips of air that I could feel at my neck, while her hummingbird heartbeat rattled my hand.
Stopping again at the window, I thought how strange that even now, in the past-middle of the night, it wasn’t really dark out there. Down low, beneath the second story we stood on, porch lights and street lights and bright, tacky doorbell lights hung, warming the blue night with a yellow glow. Higher, that moon, orange in its descent, smeared heat over the mountaintops.
And the stars. They filled the sky in amazing sizes and colors – blue, green, red, silver, white. I moved nearer to the glass, craning my neck to see as high as I could. Pressing my baby close to me, I felt Heaven open, swirling around us, filling that small room with eternity. Almost dizzying, the feeling gave me at the same time a sense of my insignificance and knowledge of my incredible power – the power to build this, a family.
I slid to the floor, cradling my precious tiny one, and lifted my face to the stars again. I offered up a heart-prayer, wordless, thanking God for this moment, this glimpse into His world. His world of Forever Love.
(6) Comments for this blog
What a beautiful moment. Baby smell is intoxicating (When it is the head not the other end).
What a beautiful moment. Baby smell is intoxicating (When it is the head not the other end).
This is so poignantly beautiful, Becca. It is just how a mommy feels for her baby. Thank you for sharing this. I needed to remember that tiny-baby-magnitude of life.
This is so poignantly beautiful, Becca. It is just how a mommy feels for her baby. Thank you for sharing this. I needed to remember that tiny-baby-magnitude of life.
What LT said. This is absolutely how it is.
What LT said. This is absolutely how it is.